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the girl next door  aishani. keisha. nat. “When I’m good, I’m very good, but when I’m bad, I’m better.” — Mae West. underline italic bold |
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yann
shan
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gone with the wind September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 November 2010 |
The past never stayed where it belonged.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
So it's one of those nights where you sit on your bed all day watching useless videos, and episode after episode of How I met your mother. Then you start talking to people and the one thing that keeps haunting you, that incessant thought, the one that keeps returning, it never leaves you alone. And then you start thinking when things really started changing so much.I want to be able to crush that sheet of perfection framed with admiration before those eyes had begun to reveal what was hidden in shallow intentions and ugly thoughts. I want to erase your hideous scrawls for what seemed like an eternity would pass in childish romance and rose petals would never die of shame, staining the empty white a burning crimson.
When what really burned was when we touched, and instantaeous warmth and heartbeats racing like fools were nothing but resultants of fragments of our imagination.
The innocent make mistakes. But they learn to love with their hearts.
Call me a push-over but maybe that's why I survive on hope. Because deep inside I never gave up on anything, even after they all did.
~
oh. love, aishani. (:
for literature speaks
Sunday, August 15, 2010
I seek solace in words and phrases, hiding in the shadows of books and poems. I alternate between song and reality, finding it hard to extract myself from the intricate melody and soulful rhythm. I drift between crowds and loners, finding myself wanting to be both and neither. I lose my sense of momentum, and things start falling out of grasp, everything just tumbling over and over. I lose some treasured pieces, now destined to be nothing but fleeting scenes of nostalgia. I ponder over the smallest of things, but neglect what stands before me. I am guilty and troubled over what has become, but scared to venture the first step forward to correct it. I am captured by the promises of religion, but unwilling to let myself fall into it. I care too much about what others say, I mind too much about what they think, I know too much about what they feel. God, i feel like shit.
Sick of being so sick.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
WHYYY IS THIS SO DEAD. D:haha hello world.
I was searching through the usual websites I briefly like to look through, searching for that ounce of happiness or joy that I occasionally experience, usually because I see interesting bits of news here and there.
This time, felt like certain parts of the Internet waste a hell lot of my time because it just somehow made me feel like while I'm stuck in bed sick with --insert string of illnesses--, there are people out there having fun like they probably never will in years to come, and not realising how much they really have in their hands. Sucks when some people still have opportunities, moments, experiences, and so much more left in their lives and dont know it. Don't even recognise it.
And it sucks when they've got something I'll never have, and knowingly blind themselves this easily.
So whoever's reading this, take it from one who knows.
1. Never let jealousy get in your way because it only hurts you much more later onwards.
2. Open your eyes, and if you feel like that dream is too far away, reach further. You never know when your arms will get chopped off, and you'll never be able to reach again.
3. When in doubt, go eat peanut butter. (FROM THE JAR. :D)
I'm off to go sleep my misery away.
still alive,
aishani.
DISCLAIMER: Not just one, but a series of events has inspired this post. Any resemblance to incidents or characters is purely coincidental. XD
I dont expect anyone to know what this is about. ohwell!
The chipmunk scores!
Sunday, August 1, 2010
CONGRATS CONGRATS AISH am extremely proud of you and your indian-ess!
当人们思考时，上帝就笑了
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
I've always been in this queer awkward role. the crossroads in between where lines chose to diverge and meet. existing not in isolation, but too affected by those around. Unable to get over the initial meeting, and unwilling to let go of what must leave. Its impossible to pin a definition to this notion of statelessness, where you aren't sure of what is to become or how the ending works. Somehow, the moving force that used to pull just doesn't have the same magnetic attraction anymore. Its wanting gravity to root you to the ground and your spirits to soar through the skies. Knowing,but filled with confusion and insecurity. I feel so old, yet so very young and ignorant.
on a lighter note this was my fav poem. used to recite it everyday.
出塞
王昌龄
秦时明月汉时关，
万里长征人未还。
但使龙城飞将在，
不教胡马渡阴山。
Sunday, July 18, 2010
http://lateafternoonsun.wordpress.com/
curve of the earth
Saturday, July 17, 2010
you're vicious like the blue sky
before the rain comes pouring through
everybody loves moving
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
feelings drive you around for hours before they drop you right back where you started.GOSSIP GIRL MOMENT XOXO. (aishaniiiiii sorry about today, we'll definitely make it up on tuesday.)
GO SPAIN GO i want to go shopping soon!
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Saturday, July 10, 2010
"If you've got the time, we can play a game. It’s easy. We just see if I’m the same shape as the space you have inside you. If everything fits, we both win. If it doesn’t, don’t force it. That's how you get splinters in your heart."
Friday, July 9, 2010
the next time you say 'forever', i'll punch you in the face
Thursday, July 8, 2010
password
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit.
lolita
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
A truth should exist,
it should not be used
like this. If I love you
is that a fact or a weapon?
- marg. atwood
HEY WE SHOULD TRY POSTING SMTH OTHER THAN EMOQUOTES. MAYBE.
and i wish it wasn't/was out of sight out of mind.
someone out there help!
Monday, July 5, 2010
i dwell in a perpetual state of worry and unrest when reviewing my own poetry.